Pain with Sex

Sex Doesn’t have to be Painful!

When you think of having sex, what’s your initial reaction?  Is it one of fun, pleasure, and enjoyment?  For many women it’s not.  In fact it’s down right painful.  Their response is one of fear, pain and simple avoidance.  It’s sad that some women are not interested in ever having sex again.    It doesn’t need to be this way.

I”ve seen so many women in my practice who have gone to multiple doctors who all look at their vagina’s and say, “well, it looks normal in here.  There’s nothing wrong, must be all in your head, try a little bit more wine beforehand!”  And for most women suffering from pain with sex, all the wine in the world won’t help their situation.

What most doctor’s aren’t trained in looking at is the mobility of the tissues.  How can the vaginal, or pelvic floor muscles move and stretch?  They aren’t pressing around in there to find out.  So when they look at the tissues, it all looks normal and healthy.  Yet if they were to just press on the sides of your vaginal opening they would most likely find brick walls or tissues that don’t have the ability to expand or stretch.  We need our vaginal tissues to be able to move up and down and expand out in a circle in order to enjoy intercourse without pain.

There are two types of pain with intercourse, insertional pain and deep thrusting pain.  Insertional pain is a problem with the pelvic floor muscles not being able to expand and stretch open to allow the penis to enter.  Deep thrusting pain is an inability of the vaginal tissues to move up and down.  The uterus or bladder may be inhibited from moving upwards so every deep thrust is like hitting a brick wall, creating pain.  Both of these issues can be healed by seeing a Birth Healing Specialist or women’s health physical therapist.

Some common issues that can create painful intercourse for insertional pain are falls on your tailbone and buttocks, childbirth, and trauma from abuse, whether physical or emotional.  Impact injuries to the tailbone area cause the muscles to tighten up to protect the area not allowing them to relax and stretch.  Any tearing to the pelvic floor area during childbirth creates scar tissue making the area less mobile.  Also I find many women’s pelvis are still in a childbirth position with their sit bones splaying out to the side putting stretch on the pelvic floor tissues.  Helping them to come back together again relieves the strain on the tissues.  Emotional or physical abuse creates a subconscious tightening of the pelvic floor  area.   Helping women reconnect and reclaim this area and feel safe again can help the muscles relax and release any held tension.

C-section or any lower abdominal surgical scars or car accidents usually cause deep thrusting pains.  Scar tissue prevents the organs from moving up and down and creates restrictions between the tissues.  Every time there is deep thrusting that hits this, pain is created.  Massaging your lower abdomen and making sure your tissues can move freely upwards and side to side should help alleviate this pain.  I have a video on my YouTube channel, How to Massage Your C-Section Scar that you can view for free here.  It doesn’t matter how long it’s been since your surgery, you can always get more mobility in the tissues with massage.

Please help spread the word to women so they know there is help for them in this area.  It really saddens me that women are not able to enjoy sex.  A Birth Healing Specialist or  women’s health physical therapist can help you with this issue.  Check out our directory for a Birth Healing Specialist near you.   For the most part, I just need to see someone one time and they are back to enjoying intercourse freely without pain.  Reach out, get help and enjoy sex again!  Good luck!